cinnamon raisin bagels, orange juice

determined to write an entry every time i step foot outside of base. only limited by my motivation-on a stormy day, i head out; on a sunny day, i stay in? who knows...

woke up this morn, kinda struggling from how bad the day turned out yday. continued the funfest by making and partially burning breakfast. nothing was particularly good to hear on the Back in the Day Buffet today. played for a lil bit, went out to Ming's to grab lunch. entertained my normal guests by watching them play pokemon heart gold and soul silver. broke out the old red, yellow and blue versions-made my snorlax metronome itself into a self-destruct.

took a power nap, was a bit groggy afterwards. showered up and continued thru the night, catching up on reading, catching up with a friend, and generally meditating on life right now. the rain has dampered my spirits, only because other folks have been affected. hopfly i can restore that book back to a decent part of its former glory; literally, it was new the day before.

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this short day reminded me that i love to think and do. doing things never really gave me the thrill or satisfaction of anything, other than the fact of checking it off my list. to run through crowds, yelling profanities and rickrolling others in the process; sure, it is fun, but with no thought attached to it, it's merely biding time until the final destination.

conceptually, i don't think i was meant to do these normal day routines. my spirit, my craving is not for the 9-5, come back home, rinse and repeat. my calling is somwhere out there, and it smarks of irregularities. perhaps it is the emotion in me calling, perhaps it is the thought that one has their duties 24/7. unsure, and somwhat unaware of the hurt and the opportunities to serve, to remedy, to cause chaos, to grasp a deeper understanding of folks, feelings, and frailties abundant.

perhaps right now, i am writing of this in search for attention. that the basic needs of a human existence are not met, and that my being is wanting to draw closer to others, the human goop, the original source. rather, as if those thoughts are tugging at me now, it is more wanting of others to be aware, and also writing of what is true and truth. to press on daily and dearly, to catalog and chronicle the struggle and path to triumph, the proof in the pudding to show that budding success stories do not happen overnight, nor are they only reserved to the supermen of society, or that righteousness lie only in riches.

from futility to humility, to grievances alike (crap, there was a good rap line i was thinking of creating there, oh well). let's simply say, that i'm in it for the long haul, and that may my life efforts now, however minuscule and insignificant they may seem, be a testament to a greater life down the line.

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when we can finally realize we, stripped down of power, material, and status are from the same cloth, then we can tackle those problems that plague all of us.