flutie flakes, purple powerade, beefaroni

i don't mind losing-the challenge is what keeps me comin back, an it makes it that much sweeter.

woke up early but still was feelin groggy. checked up on the job postin again, searched instead for the branch office online, and emailed them to make sure i wasn't gettin another hoax mail. went out, played some games, talked to some ppl. came back to base, ate a nice homemade meal and then lounged fer the rest of the night. don't think i ought to become a certified nursing assistant-cause i mean, i guess it's good on paper to have, but other than that, i have no justification to go for it. lulz don't count..

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every day gives me some time to reflect upon who i am, what i do, who i'm not, and what i ought to do. if anything, i learned that i'm too drawn to sympathy and intellect.

sympathy in the sense of understanding and on the level communication. intellect in the sense of tinkering around and curiosity. any endeavor that involves either or both of those values together puts me out there. fer most of these days, it would actually be discussing tactics of a certain game i play. tis sad, but it's my stimulant.

the other thing i learned tday is that i can be a real bully, given the proper circumstances. i rember a conversation i had with some friends, regarding murder and if i'd do it. guess if i can do somin small like this, then perhaps it is possible.

think i need to be outside again. outside of my bubble world in order to regrow my life.

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trips in and out of a possible ghost town next month.