flutie flakes, popcorn, fruit punch soda

my eyesight is so bad now-more accustomed to the darkness, and but still lookin for rays of light to guide me to my final destination.

woke up mid late, strugglin with my bed, feelin a lil irritated but also restless. stuck around fer a bit at home, got some good news bout a friend and her troubles.

went out to ymg, waited fer ppl to show up. killed some time in the park, playin horse and findin the errors in my shot. met up ivan and apparently he brought an acquaintance too.

came back to base, started to make shrimp alfredo w/fettuccini. got screwed up cause the cheese somehow created a bunch of oil in the sauce. decided to salvage most of it by de-oiling the mix.

wiki'd one of my old favorite shows, married with children. some tv, some games, some talk on the side, but nothin real deep. revelations in the back room, i spose. ponderin how tmr's gon go, what i wanna do, who i wanna spend time with, etc etc.

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if you're scient (observant, knowing) enough in any situation, watching for the tendencies, you can dig yourself out of it, rise up and perhaps overcome.

my wonder is how short or how long life's gon be fer me. my wonder is if i made a diffrence tnight or any other night in those lives i interact with, even for a lil while durin the days. whether or not they end up becomin better ppl, either from example or observation of my folly, it's important to even "feel" that change is being done.

tday, guess was a weird day. simplest of moments give my mind volumes to struggle with. yday, i'm wantin to eradicate myself of someone's presence, and tday it comes back. the so called "veterans" are playin the same trash. an unheard question led me to a proverb by C.S. Lewis on the train. even the briefest of talks... they help me understand and piece together what exactly my role is..

tmr, what does it mark? as i write this, listenin to anthony hamilton, i wonder if tmr is gonna be game filled, or gain filled. lookin further into the next month-possible clashes once again with my 2 organs. the phrase "life goes on"... makes it necessary to prepare for a life with and without, yknow?

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these nights, i never end them with a smile on my face. for once, i ask of one.