Marshmallow Pebbles (which is a crappy cereal and I regret having tried it)

This is going to be a short post since I've implicitly learned that anything "controversial or thought-provoking" I write about while looking for a job may keep me from getting hired. It's a shame really, but everyone has their own agenda, whether good or bad. If you've been around me long enough, you'll learn two things: I think very unconventionally, often to the point of counter-culturalism, and that appearances can be deceiving. Also this is a short post since I'm still really pissed off from the dinner tonight at Stockyard. (Read my review on Yelp to find out why.)

So tonight after dinner, we stopped at Dunkin' Donuts to chill. We were talking about all types of issues, which was cool, running the gamut from marriages and businesses, the economy to job outlooks, and how often people socialize with each other. What we ended up coming together about though were various Youtube videos that became popular memes on the internet. You know which ones I'm talking about-some of the more recent ones: 2 Girls, 1 Cup, Double Rainbow, the Best Cry, and rampant use of autotune. Most of these spectacles picked up steam for their shock value, derisiveness, and outlandishness and many have been viewed by millions as well. A friend commented that even CNN had covered stories about these memes. From that comment, I started thinking...

My initial thought was about the state of entertainment right now, especially with so-called reality shows that are more often staged than spontaneous. Youtube is the perfect example-everyone wants a piece of the action by creating a skit, speech, or an act that's going to capture people's attention. Is this life imitating art where folks integrate these memes into the daily grind, or art imitating life where subject matter is created from others' recycled ideas? I can see another purpose for Youtube now. Like a comment on Facebook statuses, some people like having a soapbox to stand on. It feels good, and it's a part of human nature to be noticed, to have praises showered upon oneself, to be regarded as important to the masses. Perhaps some entertainment needs to be concocted and planned out, but more often than not, it is the natural ebb and flow of life that's going to provide the fun times. The elements of life that are unexpected and can't be controlled: it is those that we cherish and long for the most. Anyone can be an internet star by doing something silly, but at the end of the night, you're only a blink of the eye in society's timeline-easily forgotten and ridiculed.

The following thought came afterward, that the internet has fallen from its original purpose. I remember the day where I first logged onto America Online with those CDs that people use as coasters now, cause they were spammed in people's mailboxes. The first site I went onto was Nintendo.com, where I looked for the latest cheat codes for video games I had. Now I use the internet for a whole laundry list of tasks but mostly it's for information. Google can be a time-saver, but Wikipedia can be a time waster. A lot of people use it for different purposes too, noted by e-commerce and personal communication. (Wasn't the original purpose of internet military related?) Anyways, the internet is integrated by people in order to bolster their own lifestyles while expanding into new frontiers. That famous quote where someone says the internet is a series of tubes? Perhaps they weren't that far off: those pneumatic tubes are there for transporting an item from one location to another. This is what were doing now.

I have relatively little insight for the future direction of this world, and certainly much less for the artificial one created on the internet. Many moral and ethical issues also come into play especially for the nature of the internet in how connected this network is and how quickly information is disseminated as well. It is not my job to police people or wage wars against organizations (at least without bigger weapons, both mental and financial). Rather it is to understand how and why these elements are here and figure out how to fix them, or at the very least temper their effects. Why? Above all, the internet is a tool, created by people for people. If we knew how to work well with people, then much of the problems created by the internet affecting people on the internet would be gone. Maybe they'd be done away with in real lives too. 

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

Hot Dogs, Gatorade and Orange Cranberry Muffin

I think it's been a while since I did some reflection in culture. The last time I talked about life being so-so different was from the trip to Canada, and even so, I don't think it'd be that much of a change (except for the whole Frenchiness). Anyways, I was coming back from Somerville to pick up an old Nintendo 64, the rain started to come down. It wasn't so much of the water or the weather, but it was the little obligations that come along with it. For me, it was the crappy umbrella I borrowed, the very porous backpack I wore, and the thirst that wasn't quenched. Plus when the train came into Sullivan Square station, it unloaded a wave of dripping for anyone unprepared. All I wanted to do until I reached New England Medical Center was veg out in my mind, but I knew I had to be alert for tonight. Even as I'm writing this entry, I fell behind in some work and instead decided to cradle myself in reading, which was probably not the appropriate action.

During the last couple of stations, an individual came along with a man, who was standing on my left. This individual who reeked of alcohol became very vocal for this man on account of no one was giving up their seats. He also proceeded into a mini-diatribe about the disappearance of courtesy and that "the men, both young and old, should have got up" (A woman had done so, and also there was an empty seat as well). On the right side, another woman was asking another man to give up a seat, for he was occupying two of them. He refused, and the woman responded with a bit more hostility. Again, the man refused, and the woman gave up asking. From these coincidental yet related events that happened in the same area and time, I opt to reflect upon things pertaining to the realms of manners and individual interests.

Perhaps chivalry is dead as they say, but I believe courtesy still exists. I cannot speak on behalf of the individual, but he did have a point of folks needing to be a bit more courteous to others, especially the elderly and encumbered. His presentation of his thoughts, ironically enough, could have been seen as self-righteous, which may have been a contributing factor as to why no one responded positively. The man who was also with the individual also did not seem as he desired a seat, nor in the very least wanted to trouble anyone for a seat, as witnessed in his speech. Personally, I think that everyone else was much more interested in being comfortable sitting down, not giving heed to this individual's words, considering it was bad weather. People's own self-interests are at hand, which also played a part in the other episode of "please give up your seat." The other man who was refusing a seat to the other woman-both people come into the wrong: the man for not giving up one of his seats, and the woman for cursing at the man.

(A random thought comes into my mind that ties into this entry. Perhaps it is our own wanting to assert power, especially to beings whom we see as weak or inferior that both individuals acted like they did. The individual bolstered by liquid courage ended up yelling at a lady and her child, both who were in conservative Islamic garb, and the man did not give the seat to the woman. There seems to be a surge of self-seeking up in this piece.)

At any rate, I come back to base looking for an answer to the death I feel in my heart, especially with the summer ending. Why does it feel that all I'm good at is burning bridges? Instead of expanding upon a network of associates, I actually am closing them down and shutting them out. Maybe this is my own individualism expressing itself...could this be the reason I feel so crushed? Fading away from society versus the willingness to isolate from it...

 

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

And we're back!....

...not only from Canada but to the blogosphere.

It was good that I got to take time off from all the mundane activity of looking for work and confusing reads over the internet. The country air, atmosphere and different culture, combined with stepping away from the internet and radio allowed my head to clear up. The long car rides across the borders gave me time to really appreciate and meditate the time I was given.

I guess the first thought that came to mind was the example of parenthood. Details came in before, during, and after the trip concerning how my father parents his kids. It's funny really, because it's like watching life unravel in real time, even if it's as silly as telling kids to keep it quiet or dealing with disputes. Watching him take care of all of us-it was certainly pleasant and comforting, even if that experience came a lot later than it probably should have.

Relating to that thought is the remedying of that feeling of a second family. Whether or not legality comes into play, it's tough to ignore blood. Home is what you make of it though, and even if it's so far away, knowing that you've a place there-you can't really ask for more.

Aside from spending half the time in a moving cage with five other people, we actually got to tour some cool places. Unfortunately I don't remember most of them, because most of them were in French. Also I had went on a frenzy for true Canadian franchise items, such as Chez Ashton, Tim Hortons, and poutine, which didn't have the beef gravy I was looking for.

Regardless of that, Canada in those parts isn't really much different from the States. Without getting into a big rant, I think it's partially due to all the global corporations trying to replicate the same experience across the world. A McDonalds looks and feels like a Mickie D's here. Clothing stores still have that elitist feel, and everywhere you can find tacky tourist items along with "hip rebellious slogans and graphics". However the case, folks still like fast food, clothing, entertainment, etc. We have those tastes embedded in us: the culture may be different but life finds its way all the same.

Nevertheless, the vacation is over and I'm back on the grind. Looking for work is indeed a full-time job. Luckily I'm my own boss for now, and it's been a relaxing time, but I dread this feeling once again...nothing is ever settled in this world.

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

pizza slice: Completed Crisis Intervention and Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

I can't explain it, but on a certain day this week, one that was filled with coincidence and perfect timing, I was left with a sense of appreciation and unfortunately dread. The happenings through the day, albeit menial, proved once again why I need to keep refining and living my life for the better, even if it looks like I'm merely being a goofball.

Life has its ups and downs, and mine is no different. My ups come from the emotional and physical highs I get when learning something new, reading a new story, or hanging out with friends. Likewise, the downs are related to those things. In particular, the stagnation of any of those categories leads me to retreat into myself, because when the potential for growth is there but never accomplished, it feels like a waste-the fishing trip without the fish, the job without the paycheck.

On that same day of coincidence, a friend brought to my attention what I usually do in my current stage of life. It's a question I get all the time from folks who honestly don't know too much about me and what I do during this wonderful time of unemployment. The way it was framed though..."Beside church, what else do you do?"...it got to me. Maybe the question was asked because this friend wanted to know more about me, or simply was not aware of my life outside.  I thought about it and realized that I've fallen much into the middle ground of mediocrity?

What does this mean? Of the few things I typically do in my week, there is no extra oomph. Many of my interests I've conceded to not get better at, not joining an organization, leadership team, or even an informal support group. It may be because I don't want to become a snob; it may be because I don't know where these places are or how to get to them. I believe the real issue is actually the non-committed feeling. Not enough of my efforts come into having something that lasts-the contentment of day to day surprises and events seems satisfactory, however little or mundane they could be. As I run through my past, the only thing that even fits the definition of consistency, of dedication and fervor, is the time I spend in the church. I'm not sure what that means at this point, and I'm starting to question my intentions again for being there so much for so long.

Maybe today is my wake-up call. Maybe this is God's way of saying that I need to find something, and stick with it, but not only float along. This is the time to educate, to dedicate, perspire and inspire. Maybe that is my longing-something that is going to last.

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

the first flight

Today was about a whole bunch of nothing other than going to TWIGS. Because of that, more of this post will be more about two prevalent thoughts that crossed my mind today. One's about the South End and the other is about control.

The first item occurred when I was walking to Andy's place for TWIGS. On my way to Tremont St. from my place, I look at the cars on the street. There must be at least a million dollars worth of value, out on the curbs, packed bumper to bumper. Ranging everywhere from motorcycles and Vespas, to Beamers, Lexuses, luxury SUVs and other high-class sedans, I stopped and wondered how much wealth there really is in the South End.

Most of the money in this area is actually in personal wealth, which lies the problem. There is much Americanism in the mentality that what you work for and what you earn becomes yours. Folks plug in 40 and 50 hour work weeks to get the money, pay the bills, and have a little something for themselves to spend. As such, they use it for flashier clothing, faster cars, adorned households, and even clothing for dogs. I myself was not born into a wealthy family, but I learned the value of wise spending, and definitely the importance of investment.

What pains me the most is that most of the personal wealth spent is indeed only for the persons in question. If you spend money on a nice car, it only benefits a couple of people, like your immediate family. It does nothing for the community, and cannot be passed on easily. This custom of keeping the wealth within the families is not unlike the idea of certain royal families that were marrying each other during the times of Eugenics. Although I am not saying that this practice does not compare in severity, the general idea is an air of selfishness and a contempt for "lesser people".

That's not to say that one shouldn't spend their money in their own way. It's more to say, please be prudent and caring towards others, and implicitly, stop consuming conspicuously.

===================================================================================

Something else struck me tonight when we were in discussion and it had to deal with faith. Apparently, much of our prayer requests fall into three categories (RED) Relocation, Explanation, and Destination. Relocation is for moving away from our current situations and hardships to another more comfortable area. Explanation is seeking the answer to a question or perplexing problem. Destination is honing a focus or direction to or for an activity or attitude.

In all three of these categories, we are seeking stability and an element of control in our lives. We are looking for our lives to be manageable, and oftentimes it comes to a point where simply we either manage it ourselves or someone manages it for us.

There is a difference between control by our own hands, and having things controlled. The problem is that in practice, they look very different, and so too are our mentalities when they occur. One could see it in the example of cooking. By making your own meals, you run the risk of making mistakes, but you get the option of personalizing to your own tastes, and having a greater degree of control. When someone else makes your meal, you are depending on their expertise and effort to make it right. They may or may not take your input into consideration, and subsequently this may affect the final product. At any rate though, less work is for you.

Ironically, this is the reverse in prayer. Many of ask simply ask God to do things, and take care of the big issues one at a time, and then return back to our own lives. The problem is that prayer is not a one time stop and shop. It is supposed to be a growth, a building of relationship, a transformation of character. It is much better to let God take control of our prayer and our lives, rather than for us to take it for ourselves. That is not to say we sit on our butts like bumps on a log, but we take the emphasis away from ourselves.

===================================================================================

Right now, I think my prayer is being answered, and it's blowing my mind.

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

Macaroni and Cheese. 7-Eleven Iced Tea.

Today was about a whole bunch of nothing other than going to TWIGS. Because of that, more of this post will be more about two prevalent thoughts that crossed my mind today. One's about the South End and the other is about control.

The first item occurred when I was walking to Andy's place for TWIGS. On my way to Tremont St. from my place, I look at the cars on the street. There must be at least a million dollars worth of value, out on the curbs, packed bumper to bumper. Ranging everywhere from motorcycles and Vespas, to Beamers, Lexuses, luxury SUVs and other high-class sedans, I stopped and wondered how much wealth there really is in the South End.

Most of the money in this area is actually in personal wealth, which lies the problem. There is much Americanism in the mentality that what you work for and what you earn becomes yours. Folks plug in 40 and 50 hour work weeks to get the money, pay the bills, and have a little something for themselves to spend. As such, they use it for flashier clothing, faster cars, adorned households, and even clothing for dogs. I myself was not born into a wealthy family, but I learned the value of wise spending, and definitely the importance of investment.

What pains me the most is that most of the personal wealth spent is indeed only for the persons in question. If you spend money on a nice car, it only benefits a couple of people, like your immediate family. It does nothing for the community, and cannot be passed on easily. This custom of keeping the wealth within the families is not unlike the idea of certain royal families that were marrying each other during the times of Eugenics. Although I am not saying that this practice does not compare in severity, the general idea is an air of selfishness and a contempt for "lesser people".

That's not to say that one shouldn't spend their money in their own way. It's more to say, please be prudent and caring towards others, and implicitly, stop consuming conspicuously.

===================================================================================

Something else struck me tonight when we were in discussion and it had to deal with faith. Apparently, much of our prayer requests fall into three categories (RED) Relocation, Explanation, and Destination. Relocation is for moving away from our current situations and hardships to another more comfortable area. Explanation is seeking the answer to a question or perplexing problem. Destination is honing a focus or direction to or for an activity or attitude.

In all three of these categories, we are seeking stability and an element of control in our lives. We are looking for our lives to be manageable, and oftentimes it comes to a point where simply we either manage it ourselves or someone manages it for us.

There is a difference between control by our own hands, and having things controlled. The problem is that in practice, they look very different, and so too are our mentalities when they occur. One could see it in the example of cooking. By making your own meals, you run the risk of making mistakes, but you get the option of personalizing to your own tastes, and having a greater degree of control. When someone else makes your meal, you are depending on their expertise and effort to make it right. They may or may not take your input into consideration, and subsequently this may affect the final product. At any rate though, less work is for you.

Ironically, this is the reverse in prayer. Many of ask simply ask God to do things, and take care of the big issues one at a time, and then return back to our own lives. The problem is that prayer is not a one time stop and shop. It is supposed to be a growth, a building of relationship, a transformation of character. It is much better to let God take control of our prayer and our lives, rather than for us to take it for ourselves. That is not to say we sit on our butts like bumps on a log, but we take the emphasis away from ourselves.

===================================================================================

Right now, I think my prayer is being answered, and it's blowing my mind.

pizza, odd veggie calzones

As I go through this week, life's been taking an interesting turn. Aside from failing on the "get a proper jump rope quest", I've been spending more time networking with people, and looking for suitable work. Right now, still unemployed, and I'm reaching close to the 1.5 mark, but regaining confidence, and I guess that's probably the most important part of it, whether looking, getting the interview, and carrying forth.

For now, I am officially a mentor in my community for an 11th grader. Time has allowed me to reflect more upon myself, my alertness towards others, spiritual and physical growth, along with having fun. Eventually, I'll get to that coveted seat in that house, but for now, as long as people know I'm there for them, looking out for their best interests, I should be going places.

=====================================================================================

At Crossroads yesterday, we talked about the Parable of the Pharisee and Tax Collector found in Luke 18:9-14. The pretext of the parable being Jesus warning of folks who have self-righteousness and look at others with contempt. These two people go to the temple and pray to God; the Pharisee gives thanks that he is not a sinner like these other folks, and proceeds to tell God of his many good deeds. The Tax Collector prays that God simply extend mercy to him for he is a sinner. At the end, the lesson to the parable is that whoever is prideful shall be humbled, but those who are humble shall be exalted.

We're constantly talking in church about our attitudes, and how those will truly define our actions. Something may look seedy on the outside, but if our intentions and desires are right, then God will let it pass. At first light, the parable seems simple enough to synthesize smoothly: don't be like the Pharisee, boasting about your deeds and thinking that you are righteous by yourself. Conversely, be like the Tax Collector-humble and understanding that grace alone saves, something that cannot be achieved merely by man or his works, no matter how good.

What struck me last night however was the thought that perhaps we as a people are misrepresenting the grandeur of God. Looking back to the Pharisee, we see that along with saying what he is not, he proclaims what he has done in the past: fasting and tithing. I believe in this way he has made two mistakes:

1) He is using his own deeds and comparing them to the standard of God, equalizing their worth. In this sense, he is saying that he can reach the level of God. In reality, we know this is not true, otherwise salvation and perfection is self-attainable.

or

2) He is lowering God's standard to something a bit less than what it actually is. To say that what the Pharisee has done is enough to be on level with God is to portray Him in a lower light.

Intentionally, I don't think we try to do that, but we do a lot of comparison and bargaining, at least initially when addressing God. We fall into the compulsion of using our past deeds to negotiate, or we use our present character in order to justify a good response, a desirable result of our own decision. It's tough; at the root of things, it's not what "we've done, but what He did."

It's not to say that we should stop trying, striving for good and bank on this one belief only. Rather, it's an encouragement to those who feel the world is crashing on them, that for those who are feeling down, undeserving of mercy, grace, protection and love...that there is one out there for them. Knowing this, it lifts much the burden of life; giving up your own in order to embrace it, instead of bringing the focus back to self.

===================================================================================

All I can really do now, is wait and see what develops, and that chances are given, actions not misconstrued, and that our hearts are true.