pizza, odd veggie calzones

As I go through this week, life's been taking an interesting turn. Aside from failing on the "get a proper jump rope quest", I've been spending more time networking with people, and looking for suitable work. Right now, still unemployed, and I'm reaching close to the 1.5 mark, but regaining confidence, and I guess that's probably the most important part of it, whether looking, getting the interview, and carrying forth.

For now, I am officially a mentor in my community for an 11th grader. Time has allowed me to reflect more upon myself, my alertness towards others, spiritual and physical growth, along with having fun. Eventually, I'll get to that coveted seat in that house, but for now, as long as people know I'm there for them, looking out for their best interests, I should be going places.

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At Crossroads yesterday, we talked about the Parable of the Pharisee and Tax Collector found in Luke 18:9-14. The pretext of the parable being Jesus warning of folks who have self-righteousness and look at others with contempt. These two people go to the temple and pray to God; the Pharisee gives thanks that he is not a sinner like these other folks, and proceeds to tell God of his many good deeds. The Tax Collector prays that God simply extend mercy to him for he is a sinner. At the end, the lesson to the parable is that whoever is prideful shall be humbled, but those who are humble shall be exalted.

We're constantly talking in church about our attitudes, and how those will truly define our actions. Something may look seedy on the outside, but if our intentions and desires are right, then God will let it pass. At first light, the parable seems simple enough to synthesize smoothly: don't be like the Pharisee, boasting about your deeds and thinking that you are righteous by yourself. Conversely, be like the Tax Collector-humble and understanding that grace alone saves, something that cannot be achieved merely by man or his works, no matter how good.

What struck me last night however was the thought that perhaps we as a people are misrepresenting the grandeur of God. Looking back to the Pharisee, we see that along with saying what he is not, he proclaims what he has done in the past: fasting and tithing. I believe in this way he has made two mistakes:

1) He is using his own deeds and comparing them to the standard of God, equalizing their worth. In this sense, he is saying that he can reach the level of God. In reality, we know this is not true, otherwise salvation and perfection is self-attainable.

or

2) He is lowering God's standard to something a bit less than what it actually is. To say that what the Pharisee has done is enough to be on level with God is to portray Him in a lower light.

Intentionally, I don't think we try to do that, but we do a lot of comparison and bargaining, at least initially when addressing God. We fall into the compulsion of using our past deeds to negotiate, or we use our present character in order to justify a good response, a desirable result of our own decision. It's tough; at the root of things, it's not what "we've done, but what He did."

It's not to say that we should stop trying, striving for good and bank on this one belief only. Rather, it's an encouragement to those who feel the world is crashing on them, that for those who are feeling down, undeserving of mercy, grace, protection and love...that there is one out there for them. Knowing this, it lifts much the burden of life; giving up your own in order to embrace it, instead of bringing the focus back to self.

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All I can really do now, is wait and see what develops, and that chances are given, actions not misconstrued, and that our hearts are true.