fruit, mozzerella balls, garlic bread, pizza, grapeade

2 weeks until thanksgiving weekend-where has all the time gone?

last couple days, been goin thru the motions fer classes. histry we talked more about the feminist movement. also watched mona lisa smile. pretty drawn out in terms of a movie, lemme see if a woman directed it (jk, nope). finished up my lil stint with nietzsche and dostoeyevsky. moving back to camus and prolly a review of sartre fer the final week. business has also been repetitive fer the most part. got a decent score on my test-makes me wonder if i should not go to classes again, since it seems to be workin out.

next couple of weeks, gotta be able to finish those long span projects. amazing how much time we got to do this stuff, but w'all know, ervyone procrastinates. hmm, i do believe that the person who finally is able to step outta that rut, they will conquer earth like rita repulsa. or maybe get some rest-either way works with me.

time to get some work done...

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as i hear all these issues of civil rights, feminism, and existentialism among other things, i find that the one thing in common they all share is people fight for these things, because of relative sensibility. relative not in the sense of "right for you, right for me", but relative as in illustrating the obvious as well as subtle differences between all of them.

people fought for these issues because what they believed in made sense for them in their situation. oppressed people wanted equality because it was on the basis of belief that humans are inherently born equal. we are born with nothing, and die with nothing. perhaps we may be born into hostile or comfortable circumstance. however, we all deserve the same right of treatment, the fairness of freedom and justice, without having labels, assumptions, or power lorded over us.

feminists felt that equality was something to be strived for because of the stark objectification and idealist situation that they felt complacent enough to be a part of. women thought that their main goal fer the most part was to get educated, find a man, get married, and take care of home, husband and kids. that fell into conflict with the liberated woman, a woman who felt that she was not defined solely by the men around her, but that she had a unique identity. she had been strengthened by her will, her intellect, her essence of being a woman. it is because of that that women were objecting these perceived notions of submission and subservience. and it made sense to them too-equality and change were necessary not only for society to progress, but also for society to integrate.

existentialism taught me about the feeling of nothingness in this world, that perhaps there is no real purpose, that death is the last feeling, and that everything before or after is merely nothing. it's pretty drab in terms of a philosophy-most of the things that i believe deal with how to interact with others and i guess basic commonalities of behavior and desires. that's probably more psychology, but to the root, they are the same. once again, people felt that life was not exactly peachy keen for them, and so they lived their lives, voicing their disgust, their opinions, what they believed to be true. they're not crazy either, but i think their line of thinking is too exclusive to relate to people of here and now. they are the underground man, it seems.

fer me, the truth of the matter is i do what i feel makes sense. some people say that i may be cold hearted, that i seem insensitive, unwilling to compromise, or to even allow newness to come into my life. the perspective i hold is a clash between human emotion and operational efficiency. in time, i know that i will regret some of the decisions i made. some were made clearly on the basis of looking at the short term, that i realize that the brevity of time on such opportunities makes it necessary to capitalize now. other times, i will put myself in the situation of the hated in order to get things done. however, i try to see things in terms of the big picture. sometimes i will bite the bullet and do things that people really don't want, and they will feel pain. but if they look inside my head, my heart, my being, they will know i meant well.

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fer lack of a better word, karma. broke a chair, been a chair. helped my friends, get helped too. despise myself, hurt myself. all works out in the end somehow.