no matter how hard you try, if the other person isn't willin to heap it out, then efforts fer naught? hope can only carry one so far.
a couple of days reorganizin the room. still needs to be roomier, but guess that's my OCD poppin up. woke early from bad insomnia, then headed out to service. ended up sittin on the bad chair fer the sermon while gettin a second dose of how to minister to elder and elderly folk. typical traipsing after service, then headed out to Park Street Church fer the special sermon series featuring Francis Collins. PSC is pretty big, but seems a big conservatively strung-up fer current tastes.
headed back to church to grab some lunch. chowed on some viet subs and McD's sweet tea, with some general horsin aroun in the youth lounge. game of Life and Settlers, with edge win and edge defeat.
came back to base, entertained a friend, took a nap, made some quick din, browsed through a book, and listenin to som old school music on the jamn. got acceptance call from mass common seminar-maybe a lil eager, but lil apprehensive about the future appointment. also fer the fact their orientation meetup spot is at a place dtown that got mediocre reviews across the internets. some apps to crank out, to preserve the future, and possibly compensation on the side
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does experience feel as if someone's rubbing salt in the wounds? sometimes when we change our outlook, our way of approach to the same situation multiple times, we may end up with the same result. futility, frustration, flagellation in the mind. so are the sensations i feel when dealing with folks, or dealing with things that are minorly out of my own control.
does wisdom trouble us? we cannot miss the things we do not have or have not received-we only long for them, in the context of another's life, another's situation. one man's boon to his life need not take the joy out of your own, but we do it all the time-at work when someone receives a bonus, and we feel we are not properly compensated. however, i guess it's all part of the same pool, the piece of the pie that is available drops down. (wonders if we can truly feel happy for someone else, to appreciate and extol achievements of someone else, without feeling selfish desires [but this doesn't mean we wipe out our own thoughts entirely either])
perhaps something is wrong in my mind; tday at this moment, i don't feel a desperate urge, but i don't feel an amazing want either. it must be the juice, the lights in my house, the music in my room-mind stunners, placating my desires. guess my fuel is my ppl; tmr i pray that i can refuel, but not fer my own fulfillment. folks really need someone out there, even fer the small things.
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my debt-laden friend reminded me that there were some earthquakes in Chile. again, another time to reinforce the point that resources are better shared, and that disparity between the less fortunate and the sufficient is eradicated when entitled ownership becomes nullified.
give to help-don't think that you will, or will need to receive something back.
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