small group reflections 1/17/2012

I love my small group for the diversity of opinion and reasonings people can give, along with the ideas they make me ponder about. I dislike my smal group because....(for that, you can ask me in person)

 

A lot of thoughts ran through my mind in small group this week, and a lot of questions came from it too. Without going into an uber-philosophical tirade, I find it helpful to at least mull about the implications of such questions and issues that popped up. Any one of these can be a good conversation in and of themselves, but for purposes of mental exercise, the thoughts about them will be short.

 

Can we still grow/change, even if we know the answers?

I liken it to a robot that has all the information in the world fed into it. It's at the apex of development where any other information would seem redundant. However, if there is nothing further for it to learn, can it become any better at all? In our walks of faith, we find that even if we do know what the Bible says, that our own personal development is stunted without being tested. Whatever testing that may be - we can still grow, whether by changing our perspective, rearranging our priorities, or understanding a greater importance.

 

Faith & works go hand in hand, but can you develop faith through your works?

It takes effort and will to develop faith. One can go about life easy and "believe" anything, but the main proof is whether you live your life on that belief thinking that it is or should be true. A child could believe in Santa Claus, but if they start buying their own presents and not wait for him to show up, then we would say that they don't believe in him, even though they declared it so. When we say faith, the connotation is that it's a good thing, particularly in the Christian realm. If one were to do good works continuously, without obligation to do so, I believe they start growing into that mindset of a deeper morality. One's mind begins to change, not simply because they are doing something, but rather because they're coming to a realization in their lives by doing do.

 

Who is in charge of the renewing of the mind?: (Romans 12:2)

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

People wanted to avoid talking about pre-destination. One person in our group believed that it's a joint effort. I can't consider any alternatives where it's 100% God or 100% man, since if it's 100% God, then He wouldn't need to renew it, and if it's 100% man, it wouldn't be possible since by nature we despise Him.

 

Are we replacing our thoughts or are we transforming them?

I don't think we are replacing our thoughts, though i can see that we do blur the lines. Sinful thoughts do and will exist, and it will happen. In one case, I can see us moving towards the point where certain desires are dulled out to the point, but are never gone. We are not "brainwashed" in the sense that there is some deviousness or malicious intent to change one's thoughts. Rather it is the forced choices that the world makes us make that if we were to choose a Godly perspective, that by not conforming to the patterns of the world, we are being mindless, stupid, ignorant, etc.

 

We are forced by choice, not by will, to choose between God and the world.

I talked about this before in the previous issue. I believe that our wills are blank slates in that they can be molded and not be preset. I think there is some part in all of us that desire to glorfiy God, but it's not recognized internally yet, or we're being distracted (i.e. other choices). Every decision we make up until the point of death is whether or not we choose God. It sounds melodramatic but I do believe it is realistic to believe so.

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

fruity pebbles, crappy vegetable juice

It feels like a while since I actually blogged a personal reflection rather than a "hey, this is how my X went". Christmas was a good time for learning, but it wasn't something that I would have encountered had I not broken the rules of convention.

I was talking to a friend today, whom I hadn't seen in a while. While catching up with him, we went into a discussion of Reddit and the face of the internet today, that it revolved around social media. We also came to the conclusion of information overload, in that we're getting so much information. As useful as it is, we spend hours on ending soaking up all the information that we're neglecting our other duties, deluding ourselves in thinking that we're being productive.

That being said, I thought of something another friend said to me, that "I always tend to find a loophole in whatever is said." I think that is true, in that I do, but not for nefarious or underhanded reasons. Rather, I'm always looking to see things from the other side of the coin, and checking to see if I can make things better.

Concerning the loophole, it goes back to how the market plays itself out. On the one side, people are looking for one entity to depend on to get their information/services/resources. Yet people are afraid that if this entity gets too large and powerful, it would go out of control and effectively destroy everything around them.

On the other side, we're looking for straight efficiency and keeping costs down. It's why we outsource and use cheap labor, in order to push comparative and absolute advantage. However, seen from a different light, going about those methods means the end of unions and American jobs.

Constantly, I find myself having to act like a chameleon in order to meet the needs and demands of others. Again though, the conflictions continue and there seems to be no end.

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

Christmas 2011

It's not often that I get time off anymore unless I run away. That being said, being able to get out the house this Christmas allowed a lot of time of relaxation and reflection, without the rest. I spent the time with my uncle, aunt and their 3 kids and each one of them taught me a little something about myself surprisingly enough.

 

From my uncle: Love is rooted in resilience and humility. Often during the trip, I know a lesser man would have yelled and screamed at his kids or put down the hammer, but he was really cool about things. Being a workhorse for the people you love is admirable.

 

From my aunt: Sometimes you'll have to look like the bad guy to get things done. It's not that she was mean or anything, but from a comparative perspective, she was the bad cop in the Good Cop, Bad Cop scenario. It's not what looks nice, but what is right that matters.

 

From my 1st cousin: Patience is a virtue, and sometimes the ones you love will hurt you, knowingly or not.

 

From my 2nd cousin: Innocence and sympathy are not to be taken lightly in a world that's oppressive and constantly moving.

 

From my 3rd cousin: Empathy needs to be natural and not stilted or rehearsed, and also that the wonder in the world still exists, even if it starts on a small scale.

 

 

For myself, I'm learning lessons about how to be single and how to treat spouses and children. It was refreshing that none of this burden falls on my shoulders, but that in time, it comes as a second nature. Maybe next Christmas the story can change.

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

thoughts on Occupy Boston

Guess I should have written this post earlier before the tent came down.

Having seen some of the aftermath of Occupy Boston, I had come to many realizations as to why it failed (at least in the short-term):

-A lack of leadership

-A lack of a final goal

-A solidified measure of success

-Lack of cohesiveness among the people

-Internal disputes

-Their depiction in the media

Those are only a small subset of reasons. For me, I had believed in at least some of the message, but disagreed in their execution of their plan. Perhaps in the future, these issues would be addressed. Above all though, the movement has to realize that they need to be about the people, and if they're really about the people, then they need to actually represent what the people want and to represent the people who are truly oppressed.

It brings me to my uncle, who is actually considered one of the 1%, but he acts like a 99%. Right now, I don't believe that the fight isn't merely about money or equality, but rather a change in behavior. More money doesn't cause problems per se, but rather the mishandling of resources is what we're protesting.

We act as if we can levy some sort of behavior on people who are much unlike us, and that they ought to understand our plight. In truth though, it's tough for anyone to be sympathetic to anything if you vilify them right off the bat. Sure, people are people and we do go through the same things, but remember; people are people - they have feelings too.

The fight isn't over for anyone - perhaps the attention is drawn away to other causes, but there's been a sour taste left in the mouths of the people.

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

small group reflection 11/29/11

Another day, another time of reflection, hunger, and boredom.

 

I kinda zoned out of the sermon this Sunday, also talking to a friend about their high-school reunion and whatnot. We ended up discussing Acts and the characteristics of missionaries and the call behind missions. It's a sensitive topic in that we often feel compelled to do so but really don't know how, and can't really do it ourselves. As one person mentioned, it becomes somewhat of a impulsive cultural phenomenon. If anyone went to Urbana, they would understand; after hearing such inspirational tales of struggle, growth, hardship and understanding, one feels called to go out and do such a thing. However, it may not be the case that everyone, though called to do missions, is suited to do missions.

 

A thing we had talked about for the church in Antioch is how they were fasting and praying for their people. Fasting isn't something we too often do, other than perhaps saving space for a bigger meal, or using it as a time of reflection. More or less, I think about the physical effects and the reality behind it - giving up something consciously so that we refocus and sharpen our relationship with God. It works because in giving up one of our most precious needs, we seek to fill it, and when we start relying on God for that one need, we might be inclined to call on Him for other ones too. The question is though - do we necessarily need to give up food in order to get closer to God? Or rather is it that we give up something of utmost importance to us, so that we allow that dependance to grow? I doubt we're all gonna live lives like Job, having everything being taken away from us, and yet still praising God for who he is, but I do believe that we start stripping away the layers that bound us to humanity more and more, we start to see ourselves less and less within the presence of greatness. It's one of those feelings that leave you awestruck.

 

Another thought had confronted my mind in terms of how we on the base level are in touch with our missionaries. On the whole, I gather that unless we have a personal relationship or a close connection with a missionary directly, we find it difficult to understand and to know who our missionaries are and how they are. Realistically, it makes sense because while they're away in one location, living out a separate life and a separate calling, we are pursuing our own direction. We realize and understand that the call to missions is an important thing, but we've compartmentalized it in our minds so it's just another thing that occurs in our own little world. We seek and strive to be in touch with one another as a church family, but at the same time, we find it difficult when these barriers are put between us. Even more so on a practical level for our church, I felt compelled to enter the Cantonese Fellowship. Even though my language skills aren't great, and even though I'm of a different culture, it pains me to not know what the other side of the church is going through. We are part of the same "family", yet we don't even know each other - we don't interact and mingle unless we're put together the very few times of the year. In the same way, I think that's what happens to us - we get caught up, and we see the idealism in the act, but confront and resolve ourselves to the realities we set upon ourselves.

 

That night, I thought about how we have to start seeing missions as a way of life and not merely a process. Whether or not we cross the ocean or cross the street, we are missionaries in our own right. It shouldn't be a standardized process where the steps are laid out before you. Back then, it was fluid, organic. People saw and confronted the needs of the people on the spot and they lived like the locals. They didn't come in with a "we're better than you and we need to give you aid because we're better off" sort of mentality. They didn't have a cushy world to go back to because the missions call was their life - at the end of the missions trip, they didn't come back to comfort necessarily.

 

It makes me think about where my place is too. Not simply on a missions scale but how I fit into this overall plan. Maybe I'm meant for destruction and someone was meant to stop me. 

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

sermon reflection

I wanted to gather my thoughts right now, but a lot of short term things have been on my mind, mainly the toilet not working at base.

Within this week, I'm confronted by the future - both for my career path and for my life. I've settled into a routine that is both mind numbing and relaxing at the same time. I wanted to spend time with family on both sides, and I did, but not in the super cool grandson secret agent style that I thought I could pull off.

My life's desires are still the same; in fact, after mulling over the sermon today, I feel even more entrenched in my way of thinking in that the world is still going to be an enemy to the cause of good. It's never going to allow people to take breaks, slow down, and enjoy the simple things in life, mainly because every amenity, every pleasure, every basic freedom now has a price tag on it.

I want to say that this world could be a better place if we all worked together to achieve the same goal and that if we pooled together our resources, we could achieve anything. But the people aren't ready for that. They're afraid of change and what true power they can actually have if they can accomplish what's on their hearts and minds. That is why a mass of people are threatening - it's not their number, it's their potential.

Yet, we've squandered our potential for too long. We've kept to our own devices, and we've let people and other priorities slip through the cracks. It's why we hurt, it's why we ponder, it's why we feel guilty and ashamed of ourselves.

I want it to end tonight and every night. My hope isn't for a fallen world. It's not for total redemption either though.

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

reflections from small group

am wondering if i'm dropping the ball at work and if i'll have a slow but abrupt demise.

Though I didn't show up for the first half of the sermon on Sunday, I arrived in time fer the main point in how we're opting for community with each other and God, whether we know it or not, and that our relationship with God alone cannot suffice for our lives.

Questions were asked today, ranging from the "what if" to psychoanalysis of Adam to the imposed characteristics of animals, so on and so forth. I had wondered for a bit whether this was a sermon that implicitly made sense the connection between man and woman and that it was to be some sort of eternal destiny. That question was never really answered, though the vibe of the talk and the feel of the room made it so, but I couldn't tell.

Community - the issue of what it is, and why it is so special. Why is it that we can't live alone, living with the animals? We can't, it seems because they can't fully know us and love us, nor we can do that to them. Humans supposedly can, and it's also the only way we know how. However, the community seems to imply the mix of people, versus an entire body of sameness. Not saying here that an Adam and Steve would make it work, nor implying that "love is the answer to everything" scenario, but I guess it's the entire image of God composed by those two types of being - man and woman. Both created without sin, one from another, but to represent the same Sovereign Creator.

We also talked about the idea of vulnerability and shame. When I think vulnerability, I think of a suit of armor. Vulnerability means that a part is not at its peak shape and that it is susceptible to attack. Most people don't look to be vulnerable, and most vulnerability is hidden. Some is feigned too - people invite others in, but to ensnare. However, in this vulnerability, there is progress, because there is development. This development only comes if someone wants to actually create something and not destroy. Too often people can look, find and capitalize on someone's vulnerability for their own gain. In a sense, by sharing vulnerability with another, one could also gain from that too, if they aren't genuine in their intent (At this point, I believe people have heard that cliche saying already). 

Shame and judgment are inseparable. People feel ashamed because they feel insufficient, or because they have not lived up to a standard imposed to them by someone else or themselves. Regardless of party, there is judgment there, but there is also the reaction. There can be disregard for the judgment and there can be repentance.

On top of that, there was the practical application of how to foster such an environment where brothers and sisters are loving and known to each other. One option was for people to be bold but discerning in sharing. The other is to create a safe environment of love. As I write this, I believe both can be sought in an ideal, but either scenario fully accomplished (at least with the presence of sin) would be destructive.

Boldness is only bold and most effective when others aren't. When you have a setting where that is the majority, it becomes the norm. Suddenly, boldness isn't normal and isn't striking. Within the context of sin, if it doesn't hit hard, people let it slide. The same would go in a safe environment, where nothing can crack the shell. We may rebuke, but if the people feel no repentance, then people may feel that it's only a place to be freely absolved, and that actually isn't the case without the context of sin.

Reactions are also out of our control in general, especially if we are vulnerable and not ready for it. Right now, I'm striking a delicate balance between saying I can't judge anyone for anything because only God can rightly do so, versus scrutiny of the actions. Both extremes are bad. The toughest problem out of all of this is realization. Realization of facts, reality and actualities - that we are alone, that we are sinful, that we struggle, that not every star shines, and not every night is peaceful. How do we reconcile and live our lives differently? How do we live them better, and how do we live them right?

In the beginning and in the end, the movements of life start with one man.

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics