Another day, another time of reflection, hunger, and boredom.
I kinda zoned out of the sermon this Sunday, also talking to a friend about their high-school reunion and whatnot. We ended up discussing Acts and the characteristics of missionaries and the call behind missions. It's a sensitive topic in that we often feel compelled to do so but really don't know how, and can't really do it ourselves. As one person mentioned, it becomes somewhat of a impulsive cultural phenomenon. If anyone went to Urbana, they would understand; after hearing such inspirational tales of struggle, growth, hardship and understanding, one feels called to go out and do such a thing. However, it may not be the case that everyone, though called to do missions, is suited to do missions.
A thing we had talked about for the church in Antioch is how they were fasting and praying for their people. Fasting isn't something we too often do, other than perhaps saving space for a bigger meal, or using it as a time of reflection. More or less, I think about the physical effects and the reality behind it - giving up something consciously so that we refocus and sharpen our relationship with God. It works because in giving up one of our most precious needs, we seek to fill it, and when we start relying on God for that one need, we might be inclined to call on Him for other ones too. The question is though - do we necessarily need to give up food in order to get closer to God? Or rather is it that we give up something of utmost importance to us, so that we allow that dependance to grow? I doubt we're all gonna live lives like Job, having everything being taken away from us, and yet still praising God for who he is, but I do believe that we start stripping away the layers that bound us to humanity more and more, we start to see ourselves less and less within the presence of greatness. It's one of those feelings that leave you awestruck.
Another thought had confronted my mind in terms of how we on the base level are in touch with our missionaries. On the whole, I gather that unless we have a personal relationship or a close connection with a missionary directly, we find it difficult to understand and to know who our missionaries are and how they are. Realistically, it makes sense because while they're away in one location, living out a separate life and a separate calling, we are pursuing our own direction. We realize and understand that the call to missions is an important thing, but we've compartmentalized it in our minds so it's just another thing that occurs in our own little world. We seek and strive to be in touch with one another as a church family, but at the same time, we find it difficult when these barriers are put between us. Even more so on a practical level for our church, I felt compelled to enter the Cantonese Fellowship. Even though my language skills aren't great, and even though I'm of a different culture, it pains me to not know what the other side of the church is going through. We are part of the same "family", yet we don't even know each other - we don't interact and mingle unless we're put together the very few times of the year. In the same way, I think that's what happens to us - we get caught up, and we see the idealism in the act, but confront and resolve ourselves to the realities we set upon ourselves.
That night, I thought about how we have to start seeing missions as a way of life and not merely a process. Whether or not we cross the ocean or cross the street, we are missionaries in our own right. It shouldn't be a standardized process where the steps are laid out before you. Back then, it was fluid, organic. People saw and confronted the needs of the people on the spot and they lived like the locals. They didn't come in with a "we're better than you and we need to give you aid because we're better off" sort of mentality. They didn't have a cushy world to go back to because the missions call was their life - at the end of the missions trip, they didn't come back to comfort necessarily.
It makes me think about where my place is too. Not simply on a missions scale but how I fit into this overall plan. Maybe I'm meant for destruction and someone was meant to stop me.
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