reflections on Luke 2:40-52

can't tie my shoe if my life depended on it.

tnight, we went oer the sermon that was this sunday about Jesus and his full life, starting with a scene from his early life. it made a lot of us think and redefine our definitions of full life, old life and how to live our lives.

in our lives at least in the middling ages on, we grasp a plan of our life, starting with work, family, perhaps marriage and kids, retirement, leading to a relaxing decline to death. we put our best efforts to put our lives accordingly into this plan, by agonizing about our 401k, boosting our physical well-being, saving for our future and children. everyday, we look forward to the "new tomorrow" when in reality, we are struggling to reach a number, an endpoint, a destination.

even to retirement, our mindsets turn into, "let's spend time with our kids, travel the world, see things". even so, our lives are not fulfilled or finished; the world keeps growing and offering more and more. when we become closer to death, we think and compare our days and times to points of the past, to people we know whom perhaps have accomplished more at an earlier time, or did things that we haven't done yet, but intrigue us.

if we see our lives as simply a laundry list, a quota to be reached, then we will not see the end of it. there is, frankly, too much for this world to offer-we will not be able to keep up with the ever changing, this force of society. it is perhaps in this way of thinking that we grow in allegiance to this world, become more tied and wanting of it, to experience more and more and grasp as much as we can before we inevitably go.

we step back to the portrait of Christ and his life as a testimony, to which one person in our small group insightfully said that it was a ministry of giving, growing richer and deeper, as relationships and wisdom flourished, and that in this respect, he lived a full life. this is in contradict to our typical path of life, in which we want to take and take so much, ever wanting.

from this i'd want to take away a lesson and say that life should be ever flexible, that giving ourselves to another should be the prime purpose of our lives. straying away from physical milestones, to not put our lives in terms of a number, to not mechanize and compartmentalize our lives.

cinnabon, sweet tea, scone

reading is very important in a nation of technological marvels and advances. after all, how can you get the machines workin without reading the manual?

woke up early due to sounds of construction on my street, which prompted an early response back to sleep. at 9, fig'd was too tired and rewoke at 10. ran some errands involving mailin some textbooks via half.com. also screamin at my comp cause ppl decided to steal dj hero for reasons unknown. watched some tv, played some games fer a bit. turned 45 minutes of agony into 3 hours of semi-triumph.

headed out to chi-town fer the lions' dinner. standard china pearl affair, same food, same agenda, same everythin. got some random guy to sing karaoke at our table; was bout to sing after, cause i promised, but they shut down when i was bout to bust it.

back to base, a lil debating about tactics and the supremacy of smart ppl, while reading about total depravity and public order crimes on wiki. plannin what to do tmr, and possibly how to waste my last years, either floundering or fading.

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last night and tnight made me think bout how vulnerable one can be, given they remain oblivious to the situations before them. yknow, i thought things were peachy keen, but i was delusional. cause of that, i feel a lil...heartbreak and confusion inside, but wisdom comes when truth is finally revealed.

when i come back from events of sorts, i wonder what it really amounts to. leavin an impact on folks and a world that i exist in-hasn't really happened, or at least i'm disappointed at the efforts. guess that's what psalm 90 is about.

coming into spring, hopefully the season will change for the better. this winter's not bad due to the weather, nor the storm or the time, but that there's no warmth around.

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my heart's desire right now is to express myself, perhaps shrouded by pride and false humility, in which ways i can. through song, through intellect, through common sense. but it's not mine to use, only mine to be lent out to others, for others.

fergot my breakfast.

with the state being known now as "red", will it change the direction of our country? or is it ppl simply being paranoid of parties?

woke up ear/late after hittin the snooze again. need to figure out what's goin on, maybe it's sleep apnea. played some games in the afternoon, and entertained some guests while takin care of the finances. headed out to NEU to have dinner with some the TWIGS folks, followed by some pool at the student center. (note to self, kirklin is a scratch master)

came back to base, an pretty much twiddled my thumbs to the end of the night. watched the fb updates bout coakley losing and the state goin to hell. in my mind, i could only laugh and cry a little inside, pitying our people.

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...these strawberry bars are too syrupy

two honey buns, arizona iced tea

this is a shout out to Will Ng, since it seems he may have checked this blog out: you host a great hot pot. chill environment, good view, nice ppl, and big tv!

woke up this mornin feelin beat, decided to snooze it, woke again at 11. killed some time in the mornin with readin, washin dishes and games, while gettin yelled at for bein inactive. had a chat with a friend and then headed out to neu territory for another friend's bday dinner. came back to base with an apple in the pocket. needin somethin to do now that involves...ppl?

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how fitting it was that everythin that i talked bout with my friend today bout what was gonna happen tnight happened exactly the way i thought it would.

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true to yourself, and not to worry bout others or the rest :)