sigh, i find right now the overabundant reasoning fer me to wake up is to seek money. feelin hollowed out, when i imagine the weight of the world really out there.
woke up and did some cleanin. took care some bills and other mailings, spent all day on the forums, knowin that i shouldn't have. exercised fer a bit, need to gather some more items. not sure what planned tmr, but feel like runnin, somwhere, fer some reason. the gut kinda makes me do it.
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not sure what i'm lookin fer right now. dreams are still here with me, but they won't get done if it's only the "1 man, 1 drive" mentality. how can i be the cog in the gearwork that works the machine in society?
guess i'm a lil cranked out that originality flew out the window in many aspects of life. tnight, edward kennedy died. they said, he was a fighter. ok, and now what? timeline's a long element, and ppl mourn, and then move on. a speck of dust on a infinite inch flat screen tv.
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life's cruel joke-grow to get to the skies as we get older, in which we start shrinking to and into the ground.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
congee, bagel sandwich
yes, i admit it, tryin to save the world. but...is it really worth saving? at that critical point in time, if i have my finger on the button or command of the troops, will i want to?
woke up early fer some prefridged breakfast. spent some time on forums, then headed to service late. sat down, and thought i saw a picture of hitler in our bulletin. trust me, i have it and you woulda done a double take too.
grabbed some lunch in chi-town and hung with ivan fer the rest of the day. all i can say is revere is not a pleasant place. on the way back to the train station, ppl got kicked out for "falling into the pit". apparently a train stopped so yeah, good call fer them
back to base, ate up, tried to figure out more business. tryin to reconnect with some ppl, but the heat's gettin to my brain. makes us do silly things, like look like a pompous jackass by accident.
need to wake early to get on the grind. summer's almost over, and once again, i've "survived" without a job. i swear, i'm caught in the middle of the system.
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kinda disheartened at how people can "settle" for the situations and life given. far be it for any of us to become under-ambitious, because america's about industry and quality, while...
...also being one of the lazier and fatter places in the developed world. but i guess at the same time, we don't want to develop a napoleon complex, thinkin, the world's oh so big, and we need more of it, more of what it gives, because "frankly, we deserve more"
i dunno how to say it, but ambition needs to be kept in check. the only way that'll happen is a clear perspective, or someone who can temper you at the right time. fer me, it's gettin clearer, but still no one out there to cushion the fall when needed.
don't let it come to the point where you don't appreciate what you have till it's gone. ppl die, goods fade, but connections-they're the tops.
=================================================================================
hopeless dragon, where dragon = my life? sign us up please, for i feel i'm finally faded.
woke up early fer some prefridged breakfast. spent some time on forums, then headed to service late. sat down, and thought i saw a picture of hitler in our bulletin. trust me, i have it and you woulda done a double take too.
grabbed some lunch in chi-town and hung with ivan fer the rest of the day. all i can say is revere is not a pleasant place. on the way back to the train station, ppl got kicked out for "falling into the pit". apparently a train stopped so yeah, good call fer them
back to base, ate up, tried to figure out more business. tryin to reconnect with some ppl, but the heat's gettin to my brain. makes us do silly things, like look like a pompous jackass by accident.
need to wake early to get on the grind. summer's almost over, and once again, i've "survived" without a job. i swear, i'm caught in the middle of the system.
===================================================================================
kinda disheartened at how people can "settle" for the situations and life given. far be it for any of us to become under-ambitious, because america's about industry and quality, while...
...also being one of the lazier and fatter places in the developed world. but i guess at the same time, we don't want to develop a napoleon complex, thinkin, the world's oh so big, and we need more of it, more of what it gives, because "frankly, we deserve more"
i dunno how to say it, but ambition needs to be kept in check. the only way that'll happen is a clear perspective, or someone who can temper you at the right time. fer me, it's gettin clearer, but still no one out there to cushion the fall when needed.
don't let it come to the point where you don't appreciate what you have till it's gone. ppl die, goods fade, but connections-they're the tops.
=================================================================================
hopeless dragon, where dragon = my life? sign us up please, for i feel i'm finally faded.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
fried rice crossover, raspberry grape juice
haven't blogged fer bout a month. kinda noted the deficiency in my minds..
woke up this morn, shoulders still hurtin. cleaned up some stuff and realized that i lost my saved session fer firefox. back to job huntin the ol fashioned way.
met up with a friend at davis, had lunch and walked round fer a bit. went to prudential to check what was goin down, then back to base before goin to crossroads.
was there till end of the night, chillin at base now.
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the prolems that plagued the fellowship 10 years ago-they still hit even now as we're old and grown. various accounts from ppl i can trust is that there really is no end to this.
we gotta find ways to reach out with one another and not so much in the "hi, how you doing?" standard-esque way. it sucks though that in a sea of people, i too wanna look fer a smaller group of ppl to communicate with. but i guess the number is also irrelevant-1 or 1 million works fer me.
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she's the prettiest girl in the room, i swear. and she doesn't even know it. gotta remind her, but in what way?
woke up this morn, shoulders still hurtin. cleaned up some stuff and realized that i lost my saved session fer firefox. back to job huntin the ol fashioned way.
met up with a friend at davis, had lunch and walked round fer a bit. went to prudential to check what was goin down, then back to base before goin to crossroads.
was there till end of the night, chillin at base now.
======================================================================================
the prolems that plagued the fellowship 10 years ago-they still hit even now as we're old and grown. various accounts from ppl i can trust is that there really is no end to this.
we gotta find ways to reach out with one another and not so much in the "hi, how you doing?" standard-esque way. it sucks though that in a sea of people, i too wanna look fer a smaller group of ppl to communicate with. but i guess the number is also irrelevant-1 or 1 million works fer me.
================================================================================
she's the prettiest girl in the room, i swear. and she doesn't even know it. gotta remind her, but in what way?
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