Only the Lord knows my true intentions.
Pretty much I was goin thru a rough patch. To anyone who knows what I'm about, there are only a few things I take seriously (even if it looks really corny): respect, knowledge, wisdom, "justice", war, and relationships. This weekend I was assailed by the latter of the latter.
All I sought to do was to surprise/cheer up a friend, while spendin time with some others and a lil change of scenery at the same time. I accomplished most of what I wanted to do, but I feel I did it at the cost of my soul.
More or less, I had fun. Ended up alienating a lot of ppl for the wrong reasons. Furthermore, it's pretty much set in stone that I have consistent trouble with trying to establish "the perfect relationship". So many issues have come up in the past, ranging from pride, jealousy, and oerprotection, to religion and avoidance of sex.
Fer now, I dunno what path I'm destined for. Judging from what I understood from devotionals today, it's a path of destruction, to Sheol with no return. My heartstrings, spirit, intellect and common sense are all being tugged at, but in the end, I can only sense a call of responsibility. How I keep on getting into these scenarios, I dunno. I admit that while in them, the idea of having to pick a side, whether to keep it clean or not, is both undesirable yet wanted.
As I go back to what my normal, obscure life is, I will continue to figure out how to get this all together. And yeah, it's gon be a challenge.
Sigh...we're not a couple, only a couple of lost folks in the wind...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment