first week of work

So a lot of people heard that I was pretty anxious about going to work this week, anticipating the best or at least being motivated to do so. After the first week, I am finding it quite difficult to be there.

What we do is important, but as many of others in that position or similar roles, we don't get a lot of appreciation or perks. Trying to do things for the greater good is hard when people aren't treated like people. We are not machines, yet we're expected to act as perfectly as they do. We get no repairmen, we get no excuses, we are what you want to do, but not what you want us to be.

Who we are is not where we want to be. This is the basis, the fundamental reason why we grumble and take things hardly. This is why we reject your notions, this is why we rebel, this is why we occupy streets and other locations of high business density.

Tonight isn't the beginning of the war, and neither is it the end, but we're ready to fight it to the bitter end. It's bitter, cause it leaves a bad taste in our mouths and the tears, though salty, are also acrid by the skies you pollute.

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

Lost my phone

I started out Columbus Day weekend by losing my cell phone again. This time though I wasn't able to retrieve it from the MBTA. Instead, one of my friends told me that the person was from Roxbury and they wanted a reward. I thought about it for 2 days, having lived life off the grid but at the same time a bit worried that someone might have been called. On Monday, I decided to go get a new phone and not deal with this person.

Factors leading up to the decision:

1) I called my phone at least 10 times during the 2 day period at various times of the day, figuring I'd reach the person. No answers whatsoever, which was particularly odd because this person wanted a reward. How are you gonna get one if the owner can't contact you?

2) After getting a random text from someone, I returned a phone call and found out that random texts were being sent from my phone at the time. Why am I going to reward you for wasting my money without my permission?

3) This person's location, without much details and having some prior insight, dissuaded me from going there without having a backup plan.

As much as I wanted my classic crappy phone back with its numbers, I figure it wasn't worth the hassle to make up resources to get it back.

The whole ordeal got me thinking about understanding people from both ends, and our society as a whole today. Nowadays, where income is scarce, opportunity is rare, and anonymity is high, this would have been a prime time for said person. My wish is that this person would have gone through more noble means rather that through coercion - even if they were actually in need, they would have done better off by helping someone in the long term rather than satisfy their own temporal desires. People are short-sighted when there seems to be no end to a dream.

I realize that I desire items of nostalgia too much, and put too much faith in the hope that humanity can be redeemed. I also see that I am adventurous but at the same time a risk-taker, and that I need to be kept in check. Yet I still need someone to understand why I do the things I do. Above it all, my life now is spent trying to live outside of time, trying to encapsulate past, present and future into one movement.

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics

reflections from Faneuil Hall

I took a stroll through Faneuil Hall after a job interview. I haven't done that for fun in a while, and it was the perfect time to do so, having went through a long week of disappointment. I remember an article on CNN about women, particularly teens, who were agonizing about their body size, trying to reach that magical number - size 0. Not actually knowing what a size 0 was or even looked like, I stopped by some of the retail stores in the area.

I first went to Ann Taylor, looking for something to compare to. They had it, but they also had an even smaller size called size 0 Petite, which is apparently for shorter women. It was on the second floor, so I decided to take a look. The size difference isn't that much greater, but what threw me for a loop was the mannequins. They say that petite is for shorter women, but the mannequins they used were for taller women.

I then stopped by Victoria's Secret and learned more about the fashions and functions of brassieres. What was weird was when I looked around the store - no woman's body shape looked even slightly similar to what the models presented on the window poster. I know that the fashion industry adopts an elitist standard, and that we shouldn't assume that what they advertise is the norm, but even still, most women and girls don't look like that unless they are naturally skinny, or even malnourished. 

As I sat down on a bench, eating my chicken salad sandwich, I look around and see people have given up on their lives. Perhaps not in the suicidal sense, but letting themselves go, physically and mentally. The same fashions, the same physiques, people falling into archetypes way too frequently.

I don't wonder anymore if money is the root of evil, nor its want even, but just people...

Posted via email from Bloodscope Economics