bringin back the hits

or whatever they call it in terms of recurring events. day 1 of bein back home.

so i guess you can call my time at boston, semi-vacation, extended. woke up earlier than expected this morn, din't check the clock. went back to bed and rewoke 15 minutes before noon. watched pokemon 3: the movie on tv, ate some cookies, played some games and generally was bored this afternoon.

went with my relatives to jin (again) fer i guess a chinese new year dinner.
highlights from the meal:

-cousin's kid kissed another cousin's kid on the lips
-mango slush drink
-basketball on the tellyscreen
-had to make improptu earplugs, due to lion dance performance inside
-gettin my appetite back

back to base, might have a plan for the summer, but would involve abandoning boston again...righ now, wouldn't seem to hurt. prolly gonna take it easy the next week or so, cure up, and then out on the streets fer work.

li wong baos, crack drink

Into the fray once more. don't know if permanently, but the ver least I gotta get here to find out

After a wiki session that kept me up till 3 am, woke up @ 930 to finish packin. Headed out the door round 1020 into a snow squall. About 40 blocks, 2 bags slowed down by inches. Got on the bus at 11, and travelled all afternoon. ETA prolly round 7 pm.

Maybe grab some dinner, work on some required writings, then to sleep, preppin fer a long day tmr. No solid plan, only a buncha tasks to get done.

===========================

Don't know what I want to accomplish here. Fer now, I want to be able to live comfortably without the hassles of the past burdening me. Cept there's gon be ver little initial support. Sigh...

But I know that whener I try to get to that point of evrythin bein ok, life sweeps me off my feet once again. At least it's better to have th*t hapnin now, rather when there's a lot more on the line and a lot more to have lost. Character buildin experience, yknow?

To that end, I gotta start somewhere and be open to unconvebtional notions. Notions of trust, humility, servitude, and boldness. Those types of attitudes do not come oernight, which is somethin I'm constantly bein reminded of. Again, it's not of my own ability, but of somethin greater.

Now to live out in for the truth

honey roasted cereal, crack drink

extrapolating experience from even the most mundane of places.

tday i spent all day in somerville tryin to hock stuff off. clearly i am still part of this community that i don't want to be a part of. at the end of the night when comin back with a couple ppl, still felt that kind of loserish feelin along with a bit of isolation and stupidity.

but from what little i did tday, was able to build a connection with some folks, even if it were with superficial means. guess that's how our minds can comprehend such a reaching out. but it's ok, cause i know there are worse ways we could do it.

anyways, i've come to the conclusion (and perhaps some paralleling allegory) that i once again can't work via agendas. the balancing act is so fragile and so important to the sanctity of the human spirit...wait, lemme back that up, cause that sounds like bs. pretty much, there's a time to talk, a time to listen, and a time to let others screw up, while there are other times to step in and prevent ppl from shootin themselves in the foot.

tnight, i leave with this thought. in the company of men/women/animals/whatever, you can't go in their with expectations. sure, you can have some sort of norming standard built on rational thought. no prolem with that, but i guess you gotta keep your mind open and ready for how the winds blow.

one week left until real life resumes. haven't been prayin bout it much nor thinkin bout it. all i wanna do is get away again, and let life take me. wanna let the burden of responsibility embed like a knife, but also be a support rod. too little pressure right now, but too much implied importance.

need some air(,) to breathe.